We all know what anger is, and we’ve all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. I find myself getting angry, and then tired after giving energy to the heat. It’s a hot subject we don't like to discuss with others. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. Ralph Sanders, a life coach on anger issues can share his personal knowledge on how he has overcome the rush of anger! 

Anger can make you feel as though you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. 

It’s not worth it to be full of anger! 

(The nature of anger)

Anger is “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage,” according to Charles Spielberger, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings. Anger has caused a great deal of loss in my own life. Ralph sanders life coach is sharing about how to identify anger issues when they start to rise above your own control, and how to deal with it. 

Expressing anger

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary for our survival. Playing basketball 🏀 sports that cause a shout of excitement and competitive challenges can raise a little anger that can make you perform better.

On the other hand, we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—non-aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you must learn how to make clear your needs and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others. 

Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression. Ralph Sanders life coach has experienced many years of dealing with anger issues in a silent way that was becoming a built-up tension that could have escalated into dangerous situations.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships.

Finally, you can calm down inside. This means controlling not just your outward behavior but also your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and letting the feelings subside. Because if not; you will lose big time and harm yourself and others around you. Be wise in thought, unhurried to act, and unhurried to speak because the mouth is what gets us into trouble. 

Life coach Ralph Sanders